<h3>D2 and See Pee Pee Oh!</h3>

I was at a party recently, and met a really hot boy. He was insanely cute – sparkling blue eyes, baby face – nice body. He’d lifted up his shirt and shown off the hottest little pert nipples... I so wanted him. Unfortunately my friend D2 so had him. (He’s another David, hence D2). They were laughing, flirting, touching... I knew where it was going. I tried in vain to insert myself into the conversation, to laugh along, to flirt a little – no avail. 15 minutes later they were making out next to the window. 5 minutes after that they were saying their goodbyes. They left the party together. I’d lost, and I hate to lose.

Two weeks later I’m having drinks with the boys. Of course the talk turns to recent tricks. Of course no one is holding back, least of all D2. Of course Nipple Boy comes up.

“Remember him?” D2 was asking “You might have met him at the party...”

Oh I remembered.

“We went home together...”

I braced myself. Ready to hear details like “He had the MOST amazing ass!” or “He did things I didn’t know were possible!” or “He was the greatest lay I’ve ever had!”

D2 took a swig of his drink and looked at us. “He pissed in my bed.”

My jaw dropped. “What???”

“Oh you heard me,” he replied.

“Wait,” I said trying to clear my head, “did you have sex?”

“Oh, sure we had sex, drunken sex but it was fine, then we fell asleep. And it was all good til the next morning, when I woke up, and put my arm around him, and felt something wet. Like, a lot of wet. His whole side of the bed was wet.” I just shook my head, as D2 continued. “I said to him, ‘Why is this wet?’ and he looked all confused, and he got up, and I was like ‘Did you spill water?’ and he was all ‘Um, maybe...’ and then suddenly he had to go, and got dressed and ran out, and when I took off the sheets, there was a big yellow stain on my mattress. He totally pissed my bed.”

The other boys laughed. I did too, but all I could think was: if I’d “won;” if I’d gone home with him that night like I’d wanted to, it would be MY mattress with the yellow stain. I guess I didn’t lose after all.