David's Hassle-Offer

I recently got an invitation to a Bar-B-Q at Chef BoysForPay’s house in Brooklyn on a Friday night. Brooklyn? On a Friday night? Chef BoysForPay’s cooking is undeniably amazing, but my impulse wasn’t to accept immediately. I thought, what if something better comes along? It’s a Friday night in New York City, what if I agree to spend the night in the outer boroughs, and miss something fabulous? My Borough Hesitation suddenly reminded me of last October.

Halloween 2008, I had my sexy Tarzan costume all ready to go. Halloween falling on a Friday, there were LOTS of options – everyone was headed somewhere. The week leading up to the holiday, as the gay boys began puttting their less-is-more costumes together, emails arrived in my inbox. Some from friends, suggesting plans. Many from the different clubs and bars, announcing their parties. Finally I got an email from TightLips. He, XJosh, and EverybodyLovesAden were going to meet at their place in Astoria, and proceed into Manhattan for a few stops around town.

I immediately rejected the idea of going to Astoria just to come back to Manhattan, and decided to meet up with them later. For the earlier part of the night, I decided to join an acquaintance, whom I Rarely See, but who had also emailed his intention to hit 2 Manhattan parties and invited others to join him.

At 9pm I texted RarelySee. He replied that he had decided to take a nap and skip the first party.

I tried not to be annoyed (the event planner in me hates disorganization and last-minute changes) and I reasoned that 9 was too early to go out anyway. I sat around my apartment for an hour, then another half hour, waiting for him to text. Finally at 10:40 I texted him again: “What’s up?”

He replied: “Getting more mixers, I’ll be right back.”

So he was already at the second party? Did he think I was there? Was he Drunk? Confused?

I typed: “Where are you?”

Reply: “Fixxed Joe subway messege”

He was clearly drunk and confused, and I was annoyed and decided I was done with him. I texted TightLips, who said they were at a bar on 14thStreet. I thought, Fine, I’ll go meet them. I threw my costume in a bag (even though it was Halloween, I didn’t want to walk around alone in just a leopard print skirt) and walked out the door.

I quickly discovered that at 10:45 on Halloween Friday there are no available cabs anywhere in Hells Kitchen. I walked 20 blocks looking for one, and texted Tightlips again. He then replied that they’d be leaving that bar in about 45 miutes, heading to Chelsea.

I was more annoyed. My choices were to take a subway to the east village, where I would arrive just in time for my friends to leave, or wait for them in Chelsea, where I had walked to. Normally I wouldn’t have minded sitting alone in a bar for one drink – but it was Halloween. And at 11pm, every bar was packed with people, most of them drunk, all of them in costumes. I could not just sit, alone, un-costumed, looking like a total loser. Disgusted with all my options, I walked home.

As I spent Halloween night alone in my apartment, I realized that you can’t spend your life waiting for a better offer. Chances are, not only will you not be missing anything, but you might end up with nothing at all.

Last month when my friend Mattitude emailed that he was leaving New York City, I was disappointed and also a little dumbfounded - who leaves New York? Of course I planned to attend his going-away party, but when the invite appeared on Facebook, I hesitated for a split-second. A Friday night? At a straight bar in the village?

ATTENDING, I clicked, not only because he is a good friend, but because I was finally done with worrying something better would come along.

Sure enough, it was a great time. We had excellent cocktails in a cute little lounge called The Dove Parlour on Thompson Street, then wandered the village for a bit in search of sustenance.

We stopped at NY Coffee & Hot Dogs, where the following exchange took place:

Me: Small latte please.

Server-Girl: Skim milk, right?

Me: Did she just call me Fat?!?!

Then we ended the night at Pieces – always tragic, but in a fun-with-enough-booze kinda way.

While we were at the Dove, XJosh, Marabou, TightLips and I discussed costumes for Halloween. We came up with some great ideas, including what may be my Naked-est Costume Ever. But most importantly, I’ll be spending this Halloween with my friends, not home alone waiting for a better offer.