Threelationship Advice

I know plenty of hot boys, but ThoroughlyMuscledMilli is seriously up there on the list. He’s pretty much my ideal body type, the perfect mix of skinny twink with lean muscle. A couple months ago, my jaw dropped when I read his facebook info page saying he was in a Thruple– a three-way relationship. Already enthused by his physique, the thought of him having a crazy menage a trios every night of the week almost sent me over the edge. I played it cool and didn’t let on my titillation, but the next time I saw him, out at a club, I couldn’t help bring it up.

He was with one of his two boyfriends, and after saying hello, I asked about the other one.

“Oh he rarely comes out,” ThoroughlyMuscledMilli told me. “He’s more of a home body.”

“I’m sure he’s a nice body to come home to,” I replied.

He just smiled, so I pushed a little further.

“That must be a crazy apartment,” I said. “Like a gay Playboy mansion!”

“Actually, we’re pretty boring at home,” he told me. “Usually we just cook dinner, watch TV, and go to bed.”

I shot him a ‘C’mon, you’re kidding’ look.

“I mean, it gets interesting once in a while,” he admitted, referring to what I imagined were mind-blowing, life-altering, porn-star sex sessions. “But really, it’s usually pretty dull.”

I had a hard time believing him, maybe because I didn’t want to spoil my own fantasy, but eventually I thought perhaps I might be getting carried away. I knew that regular couples, even the crazy-hot-super-model types, eventually settle into a routine that, the longer they are together, rarely includes wild monkey sex on a nightly basis.

Still, the idea of a thruple fascinated me. It seemed like such a foreign concept, until I remembered that my good friend J-Blo had been in one only a couple years prior. With burning questions fresh in my mind, I called him to get the scoop.

“So you were in a Thruple, right?” I asked.

“A thruple? Is that what they’re calling them these days?” he laughed. “Yes, I was in a three-way relationship. It was hot. Lots of really fun sex.”

“I knew it!” I cried. “So it IS like being on the set of a Chi Chi La Rue film!”

“Well, once in a while. But it was also nutty as we all lived together in a tiny studio apartment.”

“That doesn’t sound too fantastic.”

“And of course, as anyone NOT involved could easily have predicted, it eventually all fell apart.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“Just lots of dis-trust, lots of suspicion, lots of jealousy.”

“Sounds dramatic.”

“It was,” he admitted. “But we’re all great friends now!”

I was dubious.

The abnormally warm weather this past weekend found me rollerblading with XJosh and Marabou when the topic came up again.

“Thruples are the new black!” announced Marabou.

“Really?” I said skeptically. “I only know of one right now.” I referenced ThoroughlyMuscledMilli.

“There’s also Albert and Armand,” XJosh informed me.

“They’re in a Thruple now?!” I replied. They were a couple that XJosh and I had met back when we were dating, almost 4 years ago. Both were actors.

“Yep,” he replied. “With another actor.”

“I’m sure that’s not dramatic” I said sarcastically. “But I guess I’m not surprised. They had a regular third fuck buddy for a while, it was almost a thruple.”

“Apparently they still have a guest star now and then,” said XJosh. A fourth!? My gay porn fantasies immediately sparked anew.

“Yeah, but we hear there’s all kind of rules now,” chimed in Mariboo.

“Rules?”

“Like if they bring someone in, everyone has to agree on the boy,” he explained.

“So it’s like a panel?” I asked. “With three judges?”

“Yup, like American Idol.”

“More like American I’d do.” They rolled their eyes. I suddenly made a decision. “I need to be in a Thruple!” I declared.

“Ha,” remarked XJosh. “Let us know how that works out for you.”

“What!” I replied. “Just because I can’t even find a single – with whom to be a couple – doesn’t mean I can’t jump right to thruple. I’m sure it will work out brilliantly.”

He groaned. “I’m sure it will.”